3. In the Land of the Moose Queen (cont'd)

The dwarfs marveled at the beauty of the Moose Queen, but Timmy Pee was troubled. 'I have lusted after her in my heart,' he cried to Rudy Fuggedaboutit ,'and my soul stands sore charged!' 'Fuggedaboutit!' cried Rudy of the Teeming City. 'Take one of my viagras and we'll stop off in the village on our way out.' Timmy Pee was not solaced, however.
All the while, Newt the Coiffed was admiring the Moose Queen's domain. It consisted of a large castle and a vast enclosure inside which many myriad of moose roamed, of all sizes. Scattered throughout were a number of what appeared to Newt to be watchtowers, The entire enclosure, vast as it was, was surrounded by a high fence. 'Is this a moose sanctuary?' He asked respectfully. 'In a sense', the Moose Queen replied, smiling. 'We keep them inside, and from time to time a sportsman comes, climbs a tower and shoots one. We cut off the head for mounting and give the meat to the dogs, the villagers or the Wild Men of the Forest. The sportsmen go home with a trophy.' 'So you are a small businesswoman! An entrepreneur!' cried Newt the Coiffed. 'Friends! Here is truly one of us! Is there a tax cut we can give you? What about an agricultural subsidy? A waiver of the Death Tax?' And here the dwarfs waxed glad indeed. 'No,' the Queen replied,' I pay no taxes as it is. In fact, I have an easement on the property because of some favors I did a local "businessman" recently, and the local burghers pay me!' And here the eyes of the dwarfs were glad, indeed.
'But, Moose Queen,' said Huck of the Billy Hills, 'we need a charm to ward off the powers of the Magic Negro, and the innkeeper said you could help us. If you can, we will name you Our Lady of the Quest!' 'Here', said Her Majesty, 'Here are moose pizzles for you all. Keep them around your neck and you will be immune to the power of the Dark Lord of the Great River.' The gratefulness of the dwarfs was tempered just a bit by the many flies that buzzed about each moose pizzle as they affixed them to a chain about their necks. But off they trudged, singing, accompanied by their large clouds of flies.
As they left the domain of the Moose Queen, Newt observed to Rudy, 'I have indeed lusted in my heart too for the body of the Moose Queen.' 'Yeh' said Rudy, 'Youse can join me and Timmy in the village. I'm gonna make the innkeeper's daughter an offer she can't refuse!'