Ned Pepper's Outrages

Sunday, April 17, 2011

Ned Assuages His Friends' Concerns

Ned would like to assure his many friends that he is safe and well, after braving thunder and rain yesterday and last night in an Undisclosed East Coast City (of Brotherly Love). Today is bright and sunny, and Ned will continue his researches. His friends will be glad to know that Ned has received an Upgrade for his return flight to Headquarters and so he will be engaging in his customary activity of sneering at passengers in Cattle Class as they file by.
Ned notes with disdain the news that She Who Will Not Be Named By Ned's "book"
sales have "spiked" and Ned attributes that to her "campaign slush fund's" purchase of thousands of copies to hand out to her gullible knuckledragging supporters.
May she, and all like her, roast in hell.

2 comments:

  1. Ned seems distraught & agitated. Perhaps a stroll around the town would bring some osmotic transference of some of that brotherly love. Light doses of Lexapro might be worth considering. In absence of anything else I'll quote Billy Ray Valentine: "May I suggest a night stick officers?"

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  2. Ned,as always,thankshis esteemedcpilleagueMisterjimmyfor hios
    Ned,as always,thanks his esteemed colleague Misterjimmy. Ned promises to be less ironic about sneering at passengers(which he has never fully mastered in any case) in the future.

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