Ned and his nominating committee consisting of himself, Q A Wagstaff, OBE, FRS, and sundry persons who, fearing retribution, wish to remain anonymous, have nominated the Entire Majority Electorate of the State of Wisconsin as its newest Halfbright Fellow. This great honor is due to the following astounding electoral achievements:
* the election of Paul Ryan, Congressman of the 1st District. Ryan apparently worked in his daddy's business as a "management consultant" (Ned is not making this up) before being elected to office. In Congress, he was one of the "founding members" of the "Young Guns Program." He supports eliminating Teddy Roosevelt's Paris Hilton Tax (also known as the Inheritance Tax), privatizing Social Security, "fewer" regulations, "smaller" government, and eliminating taxes on dividends for the Sneering Plutocracy. His ideas and policies have been called "a scam" by Nobel Laureate Paul Krugman.
* the election of Scott Walker as governor, who before he was even inaugurated began the demonization of public employees and called for the elimination of union representation, a right guaranteed by the Constitution and the NLRB Act of FDR.
* Last but not least, the election of anti-intellectual know-nothing, "Tea Partier" Ron Johnson as Senator, ousting perhaps the most principled and thoughtful person in the entire Senate, Russ Feingold. Among Johnson's "achievements" are his failure to graduate from college and his characterization of scientists whose research supports climate change as "crazy" and the science itself as "lunacy." Ned is given to understand that he married the daughter of a rich businessman, then used family money and connections to start a plastics business.
Ned doesn't know whether these voters were dropped on their heads when young, or driven mad by black flies and mosquitoes, or their brains have been freeze-dried by the subzero winters. In any case, these voters well deserve our newest Halfbright Fellowship!
UPDATE: Ned forgot to mention that Johnson spent more than $8 million of his "own" money (read: money flayed from the backs of employees and customers) in the election.
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