Ned Pepper's Outrages

Friday, December 10, 2010

Ned undercover again

Ned is once again on undercover assignment at an Undisclosed Location on the East Coast. He arrived in his locale at about 34 north to find the locals shivering in the abysmal cold (around 40) and many of them sure that The Rapture was imminent. They deomonstrated this fact to Ned's satisfaction by eating as much vilely unhealthful food as they could mamage, and muttering "God Bless" to no one in particular. Ned was fortunate to make the acquaintance of one uber-geezer who walked at the pace of an anemic snail, and talked to Ned in an accent and demeanor that he can only describe as Early Mumbly Bear, for connoisseurs of early children's television (where most of Ned's training came from).
Today the temperature rose to the mid-50's allowing residents to come out of their holes to rush to the local purveyor of industrial boxed foods to purchase the obligatory white bread, milk and eggs, along with the customary 12-roll pack of toilet paper.
Ned will furnish a further report as his researches mature.

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