Ned Pepper's Outrages

Sunday, September 26, 2010

A New Narcissist

Ned's many followers know well that Ned has a soft spot in his heart for those high-level practicioners of American Individualism, the Narcissists. These 'few, these happy few' go though life apparently blissfully unaware that they are sharing the planet with other humans. Today, Ned's tale involves a lowly extractor.
Those water enthusiasts among Ned's phalanx of readers know that a water extractor is a useful tool for getting the water out of one's swimsuit.
There is one such device in the men's changing room of Ned's sports club (Ned vastly prefers 'sports club' to the mundane 'gym'), so that perhaps 40-50 persons might be sharing the device per hour, say. Now, upon Ned's exiting his hot tup/steam room minutes, he retired to the changing room to shower and dress. Approaching the extractor, he found it to contain a swim suit! Imagine his bewilderment, since there was no human in attendance. After staring at the inoffensive suit for 30 seconds or so, an individual exited the showers and approached the device, saying, 'That's my suit." He then sent the suit through an extraction cycle. Ned, shocked to have been in the presence of an American Narcissist, was briefly awestruck, but immediately regained his composure and, throwing his suit down wet, took a shower.
Ned's admiration for this individual centers on the fact that he put his wet suit into the extractor then went on his merry way, took a shower, and, afterwards, leisurely used the device, assuming that anyone who wanted to use the machine could kiss his a** and wait.
Ned's admiration for such Americans is boundless.

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