New Halfbright Fellow Announced

Ned and his Nominating Committee, consisting of himself, Prof Dr Q A Wagstaff OBE, FRS, and sundry persons who wish to remain anonymous because of threats made against them, announce the conferring of a new Halfbright Fellowship, with all the honors and privileges pertaining thereto, upon Speaker of the House of Representatives John Boehner. The award is more than merited for the following reasons:
Boehner was a successful businessman before being elected to Congress from an uber-safe Republican district, Ohio's 8th. He has only two children and has been married to the same person for more than 30 years. The most conservative persons in his party are reportedly not always satisfied with his votes on conservative issues. While being an arch conservative, his opponents say he will always listen respectfully to their point of view. So why is a person with these apparent qualities a natural Halfbright? The committee feels that they must apply the reason given by the Ent as to why the Ents would go to war with Saromon: given his knowledge, "a wizard should know better."
Boehner has apparently sold his soul to lobbyists, passing out checks from tobacco lobbyists on the House floor, and to the know-nothing Tea Partiers and Birthers, the most ignorant of the ignorant, and has displayed the most blatant cynicism and sanctimonious hypocrisy on fiscal issues: saying of the knuckle-draggers in his party 'I can't tell the American people what to think,' and saying of his proposal to cut 200,000 federal jobs through budget-cutting, 'too bad if these people lose their jobs--we're (meaning the US) broke!' Such a display of Pontius Pilate-like hand washing as well as contempt for the intelligence of even his supporters, and the contempt for among the few persons left in this country who have some decent salaries and benefits, other than the Sneering Plutocrats who make up most of Boehner's associates away from the House, make him a natural Halfbright. Because, in the final analysis, "A wizard should know better!"
Congradulations, Speaker Boehner!