1. In The Land Of The Dwarfs

Ned understands that he has many young followers who want to hear a good fable. Ned will therefore begin a story of The Land Of The Dwarfs.

Once upon a time there was a land of the dwarfs. These were mainly chuckle-headed fellows who scorned learning and thought, but loved riches and power above all else. They kept their dwarf women under a Spell, given to them by White Dwarf Lords of Old. One day, the dwarfs were drinking Lite Ale and talking NASCAR in Council, when a messenger arrived, with a fearful look upon his visage. 'Lo!' He cried. 'Word has come of a Great Lord in a land over the mountain, A Magic Negro, who lives in a Great White House on the banks of a mighty river. He has great riches and power, and wields his great power through his Magic Wand! We fear that if our dwarf princesses hear of this our spell will be broken and they will all flee to The Magic Negro's Magic Wand! What shall we do?'
At this news the Dwarfs were sore afraid. But they loved riches above all else, and power over their princesses. So they decided that they must go to the land of the Magic Negro, seize his Magic Wand and take his riches for themselves. This made them very happy until they thought how best to accomplish this quest, and again, they were sore afraid, for they were cowards at heart. But six of their number, quaking with fear, drank more Lite Ale to bolster their courage, and set out for the Land of the Magic Negro. They were Little Newt, Timmy Pee, Huckie of the Billy Hills, Thune who called himself The Great (tho he was very small in mind), Romni the Great Hunter (tho he had in fact only hunted little since he was a lad in the Land of the Great Cult from whence he came), and Rudy Fuggedaboudit the Bald, from a great teeming city.
As they walked through the Great Wood they came upon another dwarf and hailed him, thus: 'Lo! We are on a great quest! To wrest a Great Wand from the Evil Magic Negro who lives in the White House over the mountain Lest he free our princesses from our spell!'
'Well, fellers', said the new dwarf, who was none other than Haley of the Red Neck, 'Ah know all about these Magic nigras, but we didn't call them that where ah hail from!' And he sniggered. 'Ah think ah can handle him!'
And so the Seven Dwarfs set off for the Kingdom of the Magic Negro, to seize his Great Wand and his treasure for themselves.
To be continued.