6. The Dwarf Lords in River City Encounter a Local

With their available funds, and using Little Newt's credit card, the dwarfs found it easy to book a flight to the City of the Magic Negro. The only snag was that they had to check their moose pizzles, wrapped in plastic bags. Having secured accommodation, the dwarfs set about to find their way to the Great White House to confront the Magic Negro. Walking along a broad thoroughfare they fell into conversation with a denizen of the city, dressed in sweatshirt and hood, and wearing dark glasses such that they could see little of his countenance. 'One thing we like about your country' Newt cried, 'is the wide availability of firearms. We only wish every able-bodied person were required to own and carry a firearm. We believe the cities would be much safer.' Haley of the Red Neck, taking charge again, said 'Could y'all tell us how to git to the house of this here Magic Nigra?' Now their new acquaintance, due probably to listening to rap music at 110 decibels for a decade or more, coupled with the muffling effects of his hoodie, was a bit hard of hearing. He therefore unfortunately misunderstood the question, and put the worst possible interpretation on it. 'Who you callin' a n-----?' the man asked indignantly. 'Hell, I just met you ass-----. 'Stick 'em up!' He pulled out a large pistol, and proceeded to strip the dwarfs of their valuables, but declined to take their moose pizzles, which they had brought along for safety. 'And if you sorry-ass dwarfs want my advice, you don't ask nobody else questions like that!' With that, he gave Haley an admonitory tap on the head with his pistol, to serve as a memory-enhancer, which drew not an inconsiderable amount of blood, and vanished down a dark alley.
After staunching their friend's wound, they looked about them seeking succor, but were ignored by passers-by. However, it is an ill wind indeed that blows nobody any good, and they noticed they were adjacent to a large building inscribed 'GOP Headquarters.' 'Surely,' cried Timmy Pee, 'here we will find some answers to our quest!' The other dwarfs agreed, and, without further delay, they went inside.
To be continued.