7. Inside The GOP!

The dwarfs were overjoyed to be in a place of safety at last. The first person they noticed was a young blonde woman sitting behind a polished desk with nothing on top (of the desk, not the young woman) but a computer and a phone. Her nametag read “Neveah Lord”. She was dressed in a very short skirt with a very low-cut top revealing very large breasts, above which dangled a large gold bejeweled cross hanging from a heavy golden chain. She also wore knee-high boots, and had on much makeup. Haley had said while coming in that they should probably not enquire further for The Magic Negro in view of the response he had just experienced, and that they should find out what these people called their leader. Therefore Thune the Great asked, ‘What do you call the leader who lives in The Great White House, for we are strangers just arrived.’ ‘Communist. Socialist. Baby-killer. Muslim. America-hater. Marxist. That’s what we call him.’
‘But,’ pursued Huckle of the Billy Hills, ‘Does he not have a name?’
You’re kidding me, right? It’s Osama or Obama. What-ever.’
‘Well,’ Timmy Pee asked, ‘Does he not have great power and riches, and a Great Wand by which he controls his enemies?’
Neveah looked alarmed and whispered, “Don’t say anything about that wand! You’ll get us all into trouble! And, no I don’t think he’s really rich. And as for power, he can’t even control his own party so I don’t think he’s that powerful.’
‘Well,’ Little Newt asked, ‘Can you tell us what you believe in, your GOP, that will help us defeat this Obama Whatever?’
‘The sanctity of life and the love of Our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ!’
‘The sanctity of all life? What a noble cause!’ Said Huckle admiringly.
‘No, silly! Only unborn life. The Lord Jesus Christ says that all born of woman deserve death and hell fire and must be saved!’
‘Oh, dear,’ Thought Timmy Pee. And he shifted uneasily on his feet, glancing at his friends. Only Little Newt looked pleased with this response, and smiled smugly.
‘Well,’ pursued Romni gamely, ‘You do believe in equal opportunity I guess. For example, how did you get your job here?’
‘Oh, it was something my daddy heard about and he told me to apply. My daddy is very well-to-do. He’s a CEO of a big company and a big donor to the GOP, and he knows my boyfriend. My boyfriend’s a congressman.’
‘My!’ said Romni, ‘I had no idea your leaders were so young. Why, you can’t be much over twenty-one can you?’
‘No’, she smiled, “I’m twenty-one, and my boyfriend is 55. His ex-wife is real old.’ At this the dwarfs looked more uneasy still, except for Rudy Fuggedaboutit, whose eyes lighted up. ‘Well, where do your parents live? Here?’
‘No. We have lots of houses. Right now my mom is in Vail with her ski instructor Mr Buff, and Dad’s in London at the flat with his personal assistant Miss Peters. They travel a lot.’
‘Way-yull,’ Haley asked, What else do yew believe in?’
‘Oh, family values!’ And Neveah's eyes lighted up even more, while she fingered her large golden cross. Rudy watched her rather as a cat might watch a small injured bird. ‘You must have gone to a good school to get a job like this,‘ He offered.
‘Well, yeah! I just graduated from Liberty University with a Major in Christian Studies. My boyfriend is very interested in that as well. Most of the people who work here have been born again. Praise The Lord! But here’s Marcus and Eddie the Third! They have all sorts of good stuff to tell you!’
To be continued.