Ned and Prof Q A Wagstaff, FRS have sifted through an Everest of data and are now in a position to announce their 3rd HALFBRIGHT FELLOWSHIP. Ned's readers will recall the first two Halfbright Fellows to be George W Bush and Carly Fiorina.
Here are the candidates, all women since Ned and Wagstaff are no sexists:
Ned's readers will recall the female Halfbright field consists of:
SARAH PALIN: Half-term "Governor" of Alaska (a state with the population slightly in excess of Washington DC), mayor of Wasila (population 6,000 counting moose) and VP candidate with John McCain, Palin has shown, with her breathtaking sanctimonious hypocrisy, dysfunctional family life while running as a 'family values' candidate, and astonishing pride in her almost unlimited ignorance of important issues, that she is a natural and strong candidate for a Halfbright.
SHARRON ANGLE: The Republican fringe candidate for Senator from Nevada has come from nowhere to stand in the front row of strong Halfbright nominees. Her transcendentally ignorant remarks on almost anything of substance, her lack of rudimentary command of the English language (even that bastardized version practiced in the US), her incendiary remarks on firearms, and her clear lack of the slightest competence to be a US Senator all make her a strong Halfbright candidate. Additionally, her position as a sanctimonious hypocrite when it comes to opposing government pensions and health care, since her husband is drawing a Civil Service pension, and they both have federal health care under her husband's government-run policy, makes her a powerful Halfbright candidate.
MARSHA BLACKBURN: The comely face of southern Republicanism, Blackburn hails from the lily-white, gerrymandered 7th Congressional District of Tennessee. A strong proponent of "smaller" government, "lower" taxes and "more" freedom, she is tough as a hawthorne spike and exudes about as much empathy and intellect as a sea-snake. Always on CSPAN gabbling on about some preposterous issue or another to cement the support of the know-nothing racists that form her main constituency and, not to discriminate, the basis of support of every southern "states rights" Republican. A strong Halfbright candidate.
CHRISTINE O'DONNELL:"Tea-Party" endorsed candidate for the Senate Seat in Delaware. One of O'Donnell's prime qualifications is her ability to talk to God Himself. She says, "'During the primary, I heard the audible voice of God," she said. "'He said, 'Credibility.'" (h/t Josh Marshall)
Americans vote against such a Chosen Person at their peril: after all, look where it got us when Halfbright Fellow George Bush said he talked to God about invading Iraq. And Ms O'Donnell has considerably enhanced her qualifications for the coveted Halfbright by her revelation that she practiced witchcraft. In her own words, she "dabbled" in it. Perhaps in a similar vein to the Fuhrer's "dabbling" in eugenics.
Finally, Ms O'Donnell has recently been shown to have falsely claimed "Oxford University" as part of her education, when what she actually did was attend an "enrichment" course at a room leased from Oxford University, but run by the "University of Phoenix."
Ned and the prof proudly announce that the winner of the third Halfbright is:
CHRISTINE O'DONNELL!
Ned Pepper's Outrages
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
Sunday, September 26, 2010
A New Narcissist
Ned's many followers know well that Ned has a soft spot in his heart for those high-level practicioners of American Individualism, the Narcissists. These 'few, these happy few' go though life apparently blissfully unaware that they are sharing the planet with other humans. Today, Ned's tale involves a lowly extractor.
Those water enthusiasts among Ned's phalanx of readers know that a water extractor is a useful tool for getting the water out of one's swimsuit.
There is one such device in the men's changing room of Ned's sports club (Ned vastly prefers 'sports club' to the mundane 'gym'), so that perhaps 40-50 persons might be sharing the device per hour, say. Now, upon Ned's exiting his hot tup/steam room minutes, he retired to the changing room to shower and dress. Approaching the extractor, he found it to contain a swim suit! Imagine his bewilderment, since there was no human in attendance. After staring at the inoffensive suit for 30 seconds or so, an individual exited the showers and approached the device, saying, 'That's my suit." He then sent the suit through an extraction cycle. Ned, shocked to have been in the presence of an American Narcissist, was briefly awestruck, but immediately regained his composure and, throwing his suit down wet, took a shower.
Ned's admiration for this individual centers on the fact that he put his wet suit into the extractor then went on his merry way, took a shower, and, afterwards, leisurely used the device, assuming that anyone who wanted to use the machine could kiss his a** and wait.
Ned's admiration for such Americans is boundless.
Those water enthusiasts among Ned's phalanx of readers know that a water extractor is a useful tool for getting the water out of one's swimsuit.
There is one such device in the men's changing room of Ned's sports club (Ned vastly prefers 'sports club' to the mundane 'gym'), so that perhaps 40-50 persons might be sharing the device per hour, say. Now, upon Ned's exiting his hot tup/steam room minutes, he retired to the changing room to shower and dress. Approaching the extractor, he found it to contain a swim suit! Imagine his bewilderment, since there was no human in attendance. After staring at the inoffensive suit for 30 seconds or so, an individual exited the showers and approached the device, saying, 'That's my suit." He then sent the suit through an extraction cycle. Ned, shocked to have been in the presence of an American Narcissist, was briefly awestruck, but immediately regained his composure and, throwing his suit down wet, took a shower.
Ned's admiration for this individual centers on the fact that he put his wet suit into the extractor then went on his merry way, took a shower, and, afterwards, leisurely used the device, assuming that anyone who wanted to use the machine could kiss his a** and wait.
Ned's admiration for such Americans is boundless.
Saturday, September 25, 2010
Cut red tape!
Here's the lede on an article in today's NYT: "Experts say that weak oversight of the 2.7 million miles of gas pipeline in the United States has contributed to hundreds of episodes that have killed 60 people in the last five years."
Now Ned has two "takes" on this:
First, those, mainly Republicans, who decry "red tape" are always crying about "too many regulations" and of course that is a feature of their newest Contract On America. And yet here is another area where a lack of appropriate regulations, and appropriate enforcement, has led to 60 deaths in 5 years.
But is 60 dead a price we can afford to pay for reducing red tape? Can we keep cutting federal and state jobs, and expect enforcement of laws to continue unabated? Ned doesn't think so, but it is the other side of the anti-red tape coin, so to speak.
And, shouldn't we be increasing regulation of the junk food industry, and the cigarette industry, which are killing hundreds of thousands of people a year?
Now Ned has two "takes" on this:
First, those, mainly Republicans, who decry "red tape" are always crying about "too many regulations" and of course that is a feature of their newest Contract On America. And yet here is another area where a lack of appropriate regulations, and appropriate enforcement, has led to 60 deaths in 5 years.
But is 60 dead a price we can afford to pay for reducing red tape? Can we keep cutting federal and state jobs, and expect enforcement of laws to continue unabated? Ned doesn't think so, but it is the other side of the anti-red tape coin, so to speak.
And, shouldn't we be increasing regulation of the junk food industry, and the cigarette industry, which are killing hundreds of thousands of people a year?
Thursday, September 23, 2010
The voters be damned
Yet another so-called "poll" has come to Ned's attention, purporting to show that the Democrats will lose control of the House and the Senate by huge margins, and Ned assumes, control of their collective bladders as well. Well, this worm has turned.
Ned is sick to death of these damned Armageddon polls.
The bottom line is, if the voters in this country want the Republicans to be in charge after the debacle that was the George Bush regime, then Ned says, let them have it and be damned.
If they can't see through the hackery, veiled racism, class warfare, sanctimonious hypocrisy, unvarnished cant, and obstructionism that has characterized the Republican Party since Obama's election, and the Senate Republicans in particular, and if they truly believe the failures of the Obama people arise out of their inability to effectively govern, then they don't deserve to be entrusted with the governance of a free state. Jefferson's great experiment with trusting the people with their own fate will have failed.
The system, designed as it was at the end of the 18th century, is broken and in need of replacement.
If the voters would be more happy with more concentration of wealth in the hands of the few, so they can go to the back door of the mansion and let some sneering plutocrat throw them some crumbs, well, so be it. Ned will leave and join the resistance.
He hears rumors of a Free French garrison at Brazzaville...
Ned is sick to death of these damned Armageddon polls.
The bottom line is, if the voters in this country want the Republicans to be in charge after the debacle that was the George Bush regime, then Ned says, let them have it and be damned.
If they can't see through the hackery, veiled racism, class warfare, sanctimonious hypocrisy, unvarnished cant, and obstructionism that has characterized the Republican Party since Obama's election, and the Senate Republicans in particular, and if they truly believe the failures of the Obama people arise out of their inability to effectively govern, then they don't deserve to be entrusted with the governance of a free state. Jefferson's great experiment with trusting the people with their own fate will have failed.
The system, designed as it was at the end of the 18th century, is broken and in need of replacement.
If the voters would be more happy with more concentration of wealth in the hands of the few, so they can go to the back door of the mansion and let some sneering plutocrat throw them some crumbs, well, so be it. Ned will leave and join the resistance.
He hears rumors of a Free French garrison at Brazzaville...
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
Stealing the best
This quote was from two "immigration lawyers" writing in today's NYT: "It should be the national policy of the United States to forthrightly and unapologetically attract the best minds from all over the world and turn them into assets of the United States."
Ned finds such an attitude unworthy of any country that professes a shred of moral decency, but, for a country like America, which touts itself as the world's standard for purity and morality, it is disgusting. Here's why:
How many would constitute the "best" minds? Would it be ten million? A hundred million? There is the story told about George HW Bush offering amnesty to any Chinese who felt "oppressed" after Tienanmen Square, a cynical and hypocritical ploy if there ever was one, but we digress. The Chinese Premier was overheard to say, 'Well, we have 1.2 billion. How many would he like?"
The idea that other countries should pay to educate their citizens so that the US could conscript them into some sort of materialist consumerist Bedlam which is increasingly this country is reprehensible, degrading and outrageous. How are these countries supposed to pull themselves out of poverty and ignorance if their "best" minds leave?
"For what profiteth it a man, if he gain the whole world, and lose his own soul?"
Ned finds such an attitude unworthy of any country that professes a shred of moral decency, but, for a country like America, which touts itself as the world's standard for purity and morality, it is disgusting. Here's why:
How many would constitute the "best" minds? Would it be ten million? A hundred million? There is the story told about George HW Bush offering amnesty to any Chinese who felt "oppressed" after Tienanmen Square, a cynical and hypocritical ploy if there ever was one, but we digress. The Chinese Premier was overheard to say, 'Well, we have 1.2 billion. How many would he like?"
The idea that other countries should pay to educate their citizens so that the US could conscript them into some sort of materialist consumerist Bedlam which is increasingly this country is reprehensible, degrading and outrageous. How are these countries supposed to pull themselves out of poverty and ignorance if their "best" minds leave?
"For what profiteth it a man, if he gain the whole world, and lose his own soul?"
Monday, September 20, 2010
More irritating phrases from idiots
Ned's friend and associate Misterjimmy has from time to time taken Ned to task for a seeming inattention to the many annoying phrases that have crept like caterpillars into our speech. Ned has experienced two such phrases, one hallowed and one new, and is moved to rise from his rum-induced torpor and rage, rage against them. The old one is "bragging rights." Ned has no idea where this annoying and even idiotic phrase arose, but asks his many friends to avoid its use whenever possible, especially within Ned's hearing. Indeed, as Ned is convinced by his attention to Holy Writ that bragging is a minor no-no, he encourages all who aspire to a Reward in the Afterlife to avoid the phrase for that reason as well.
The second, and to Ned's experience, new source of irritation is the many variants on the phrase "pushback", apparently referring to the response of an unoffending person to aggressive and untoward behavior on the part of another, or something similar. The variant that Ned finds particularly annoying is "give push back", meaning a response to inappropriate behavior.
From this latter phrase one can move on to others in which one word has been found to be insufficient to describe a phenomenon, and must be replaced by two or more, thus lengthening the talker's or writer's hold on the listener or reader. Ned would offer as an example, "brave troops" for the old word "troops" which to Ned seemed complete and appropriate. One could also recall the old chestnut "all new", for "new", which always seemed sufficient to Ned.
And, "me, myself, personally" comes to mind as particularly egregious.
Ned invites his readers to offer their own examples, and may, with Q A Wagstaff, FRS, devise an Award for the Most Outrageous and Offending Useless Phrase, should public interest require it.
The second, and to Ned's experience, new source of irritation is the many variants on the phrase "pushback", apparently referring to the response of an unoffending person to aggressive and untoward behavior on the part of another, or something similar. The variant that Ned finds particularly annoying is "give push back", meaning a response to inappropriate behavior.
From this latter phrase one can move on to others in which one word has been found to be insufficient to describe a phenomenon, and must be replaced by two or more, thus lengthening the talker's or writer's hold on the listener or reader. Ned would offer as an example, "brave troops" for the old word "troops" which to Ned seemed complete and appropriate. One could also recall the old chestnut "all new", for "new", which always seemed sufficient to Ned.
And, "me, myself, personally" comes to mind as particularly egregious.
Ned invites his readers to offer their own examples, and may, with Q A Wagstaff, FRS, devise an Award for the Most Outrageous and Offending Useless Phrase, should public interest require it.
Saturday, September 18, 2010
Sigh--explaining climate change
With another figurative heavy heart, Ned reluctantly must take up the subject of climate change. There seems to be a vast dichotomy between practicing scientists in atmospheric and planetary sciences, who understand the Scientific Method and who accept Anthropomorphically-induced climate change as a Theory, and non-scientists, predominantly undereducated persons, religious extremists and business and communication majors, who express "skepticism," or see it as some sort of a "liberal plot." This causes Ned to sigh with the tediousness of trying to communicate with such persons, many of whom will not be convinced no matter how overwhelming the evidence because they do not inhabit an evidence-based world.
But he will try.
First, there is no debate among the educated, research-based science community on the reality of human-induced climate change. Any debate centers on the nature of the impacts and the timing of such impacts.
The possibility of human-induced global warming has been recognized at least since 1895 when Swedish chemist and Nobelist Svante Arrhenius shows that human sources of greenhouse gases could be significant enough to change the planet's climate. The situation was sufficiently understood by 1958 such that an observatory was set up on the Big Island of Hawaii to measure atmospheric CO2. By 1965, Lyndon Johnson's Science Advisory Committee had recognized climate change as a possible serious environmental issue. By the 1970's researchers like Oceanographer Roger Revelle were describing the emissions of greenhouse gases as a "great geophysics experiment" that humanity was trying on the Earth.
During the succeeding three decades, more and more evidence has been amassed, and more and more models have been supported by increasingly precise data such that the reality of climate change, happening now and accelerating, is no longer in dispute.
These are the scientific facts. But, just as the Pope made Galileo recant his scientific observations because they did not fit Church teachings, there are those today who are trying to do the same thing.
Many educated people feel that the battle between superstition and ignorance on the one hand, and enlightenment and reason on the other, was settled in the 17th century. Ned advises them that nothing could be further from the truth, especially in America, where there exist millions of persons proud in their ignorance. Indeed this is one of the most poorly educated, if not the most poorly educated, advanced country on the planet.
Ned may have more to say on this at a later date, but for now, back to our discussion of WHO WILL BE THE NEW JUDGES ON AMERICAN IDOL!!!!!!
But he will try.
First, there is no debate among the educated, research-based science community on the reality of human-induced climate change. Any debate centers on the nature of the impacts and the timing of such impacts.
The possibility of human-induced global warming has been recognized at least since 1895 when Swedish chemist and Nobelist Svante Arrhenius shows that human sources of greenhouse gases could be significant enough to change the planet's climate. The situation was sufficiently understood by 1958 such that an observatory was set up on the Big Island of Hawaii to measure atmospheric CO2. By 1965, Lyndon Johnson's Science Advisory Committee had recognized climate change as a possible serious environmental issue. By the 1970's researchers like Oceanographer Roger Revelle were describing the emissions of greenhouse gases as a "great geophysics experiment" that humanity was trying on the Earth.
During the succeeding three decades, more and more evidence has been amassed, and more and more models have been supported by increasingly precise data such that the reality of climate change, happening now and accelerating, is no longer in dispute.
These are the scientific facts. But, just as the Pope made Galileo recant his scientific observations because they did not fit Church teachings, there are those today who are trying to do the same thing.
Many educated people feel that the battle between superstition and ignorance on the one hand, and enlightenment and reason on the other, was settled in the 17th century. Ned advises them that nothing could be further from the truth, especially in America, where there exist millions of persons proud in their ignorance. Indeed this is one of the most poorly educated, if not the most poorly educated, advanced country on the planet.
Ned may have more to say on this at a later date, but for now, back to our discussion of WHO WILL BE THE NEW JUDGES ON AMERICAN IDOL!!!!!!
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