Just about the time Ned thought it was safe to go outside, he finds that some idiot has apparently crawled out from under a dank rock and published a study that says dog owners exercise more than those who don't have a dog. So, one possible conclusion from this "study" is that if everybody had a damned dog they would all be healthier. Apart from the fact that dog crap and pee is a major source of urban pollution, that dog owners are aggressively rude and self-centered, their animals are a major source of bacterial contamination, and that dogs cost an enormous amount in food and packaging, details of the study revealed that, no, it wasn't that simple after all: that some people didn't walk their dogs, some hired dog walkers instead, or their "walk" was at an average speed of about 2 miles an hour which does little good at all.
Ned figures that, contrary to this idiotic study, people would be better off getting rid of their mangy mutts, joining a gym, and getting a life interacting with other people for a change.
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