Beating the HP Dead Horse

In the continuing saga of the contemptible incompetents running HP (into the ground) Ned has used his considerable math skills to add the total money (made public that is) that has been thrown at failed CEO's of that Corporate Poster Child in the past four years or so, by what business insiders call the "worst Board of Directors in the country."
Here is the disgraceful total, at a time when jobs are being outsourced to India and the rank and file employees have taken actual pay cuts.
$30 million or so to Carly Fiorina, plus her vewy own jet plane.
Something like 3 or 4 million to some interim CEO while they were looking for their next hack.
$12 million at least to Mark Hurd, who was forced to resign over expense account irregularities and some reports of vague sexual improprieties. Hurd went on to take the job of "Co President" at one of HP's competitors, Oracle.
$27 million to hapless Leo Apetheker, ousted after eleven months.
So, this is more than $70 million, at a time when qualified people can't find jobs.
And how have all these changes affected the company's stock price? Four years ago it was about 22. Same now.
Ned once again advises his friends to SHORT HP.

Health Care Crisis!

Ned has discovered two of the many reasons why we as a nation spend twice as much per person on "health care" and get less for it. First, a report in the Grey Lady describes a study that analyzed the pills taken by several hundred geezers in assisted living facilities and found that on average the geezers took more than seven different pills daily. After study, the medicos were able to take the geezers off 58% of their pills with no harmful effects; in fact, many of them got better.
Second, comes word from McClatchy News that many parents send their pwecious babies, home from college, to the emergency room on specious pretexts: to wit, "A problem we see in our emergency department is when college students are back home from break and they complain to mom and dad about their heart racing," Strasser said. "We find out they are drinking a lot of Red Bull and coffee, and consuming large amounts of caffeine."
So Ned asks his friends to add up the cost of these two under-the-radar needless activities, and then consider all the other costs of over-treatment, like unnecessary biopsies, invasive surgeries for thyroids, etc.
Add to all that the hundreds of millions paid to Sneering Plutocrat "CEOs" of "health care" companies. Need we say more? Well, we will in a later post, of course.

Good Job!

Ned would like to take the opportunity to warn any and all of his many friends NOT to ever use the cretinous phrase 'Good Job!' within his hearing, especially if it originates from an "adoring" parent or a hanger-on of same, to an infant or child who has just performed a task that, at any scale of complexity, ranks around that required to breathe in or out. Ned witnessed such a revolting display this morning while at his gym, er--sports club. He saw a woman apply that idiotic phrase to an infant in a swimming pool, held tightly by the creature's father, who had just completed the arduous task of throwing a rattle about a foot away upon instruction. It seems to be almost universally applied to any child who has performed any task whatsoever without breaking anything or making a mess. Perhaps this is part of the reason why we have a generation of young adults, having been told 'Good Job!' their entire short lives, believe as a result they are the most brilliant creature in Creation, and deserve to start any employment at the level of, at least, executive vice-president.

HP Heartbreak: Will it never end?

Yet again the HP Board of Directors, voted worst in the country by business poll after business poll, has shown why they merit that lofty achievement. Comes word that deposed jefe Leo Apotheker, on the job (so to speak) for only eleven months, has been awarded "severance" of $7.2 million, besides accelerated access to other goodies like stock options worth millions more. All this at a time when HP is frantically outsourcing jobs overseas, and carrying out a management policy, according to stressed-out employees, that resembles Stalinist terror more than anything else.
And recently they announced they were replacing Leo with Charter Member Sneering Plutocrat Meg Whitman, or, "Carly 2.0" as Ned's moles inside the company are describing her, since she was dumped by eBay, as was Fiorina by a former telecom company, carrying billions in stock options away with her, as did Fiorina from HP, along with her vewy own pwivate airplane. Moreover, Whitman has no experience running a tech company and is fresh from throwing away $160 million of "her own" money on a Quixote-like campaign for the governorship of California, where she was trounced by septegenarian former flower child Jerry Brown.
To top it all off, they had the temerity to announce that Whitman's "Base" pay was going to be $1 a year. Now, Ned can imagine what sort of "incentives" this Board of Nitwits is offering her: probably $50,000 for every day she shows up for work, and so forth.
Ned assures his friends that the HP board's position at the bottom of the heap has only been more cemented by these daring moves. And be sure to SHORT HP.

The HP Board Strikes Again!

Not content with its ranking among the worst corporate boards, according to experts (certainly not Ned), the board of floundering computer former-giant HP is reported ready to axe its CEO of 11 MONTHS, Leo Apotheker, in favor of a Charter Member of the Sneering Plutocracy, former eBay head Meg Whitman! Whitman's latest caper was to spend $160 million of her "own" money (read: money flayed from the backs of eBay employees and shareholders) in a run against wheezing geezer Jerry Brown for governor of California, a race in which she was soundly trounced. Ned can only imagine to what heights she may soar if elevated to the head of HP, but Ned advises his investor friends to continue to short the stock (free advice).

HP Redux

Ned's friends know that he has been chronicling the rise and (mainly) fall of computer giant HP for more than a year, pointing out the laughable incompetence of a "Board of Directors," and their misadventures in hiring, first of titanic loser (except in reward of course) Carly Fiorina, then of Mark Hurd (forced to resign, and take $12 million with him, arising out of 'improprieties' in his expense accounts), and now of some European character. He would like to amend his earlier posts by pointing out that HP's stock has tanked recently, sinking into the mire of the low 20's--and well-deserved. A bigger bunch of self-aggrandized clowns cannot be imagined, but, have no fear, they will find ways to make silk purses out of sow's ears, and numerous reasons why they should all be rewarded with ever increasing amounts of filthy lucre, all flayed from the backs of hapless employees and shareholders. Let the free market rule!

Today's Brief Items

* Ned noticed that the good burghers of Llano, Texas are suffering through yet another spate of drought. It's so bad that some of them are even coloring their lawns. Ned seems to recall, however, that their Governor "Rick" Perry called for a "Day Of Prayer" not long ago to exhort the Almighty, who presumably takes a hands-on attitude to such things, to dump some rain on the Lone Star State, but, apparently the folks in neighboring Louisiana were more devout as they got the rain (and the accompanying flooding). Maybe what Texas needs is fewer days of prayer and more studies into the causes and long-term effects of climate change? Just sayin.'

* Ned has noticed that the number of Americans plugged into their portable musical generators seems to be increasing daily. Could these people be indulging in the oldest form of narcotic, music? It's certainly easier and perhaps more fun than paying attention to one's surroundings--certainly one's political surroundings.