Memo to our low-IQ friends

Memo: To our room temperature IQ friends
Subj: A potential GOP victory
Date: Oct 27, 2012

Dear low-IQ friends. Please note the unmistakeable signs of a Romney victory, should it come to place. And do not come crying to Ned.
* Sneering plutocrat bosses are sending memos to their serfs and other employees, warning them to vote GOP or face the consequences. Expect this to become the rule in future 'elections.'
* Your taxes will go up and your government benefits will crater, all the while your betters in the Sneering Plutocracy will enrich themselves even more. And, since these vile, grasping, soulless creatures cannot possibly spend all their filthy lucre even now, giving them more money will cause the economy to further contract.
* What few personal rights you have left will be swept into the dustbin, as states and localities cut services and workers further, except for 'police' which will be hired to ensure that the Plutocracy's possessions are secure.
* Women will find that the GOP mullahs and ayatollahs will more and more force their 8th century BC opinions on them, eliminating the rights to family planning, birth control and abortion rights. They may even revise the rape laws to decriminalize rape unless 'sufficient violence' was proven. And look for attempts to revise the marriage ceremony to reinstate "obey" as a woman's obligation.
* The coal companies will enjoy a resurgence, and clear air laws will be weakened or even eviscerated.
* Regulations, such as controls on toxic substances in food and drugs will be 'streamlined,' in line with Plutocrat's wishes. The plutocrats, on the other hand, will further withdraw behind their gated communities, patrolled by 'neighborhood watch volunteers,' armed with automatic weapons, as gun control laws will be eliminated. Rest assured, however, that you will be allowed in regularly to beg for scraps that the cat wouldn't eat, which you will have to do as food stamps will be eliminated.
* Your 'disability' payments will cease, requiring you to actually seek employment along with the other desperate millions.
* Tenure will gradually disappear from universities, resulting in their conversion into 'education centers' where you will only be forced to learn to obey orders.
We, in the Reality-Based USA, wish you a happy RomneyWorld.

The Infamous Romney Video: A Game Changer?

By now the entire solar system is no doubt agog over the infamous video of Mitt Romney speaking to his Sneering Plutocrat cronies in condescending tones about that '47%' who 'pay no income tax' and who are 'dependent on government', and finally who consider it their right to have a roof over their heads and enough food to keep them alive. Not to mention, of course, free health care. And it goes without saying that Romney did not admit he was wrong in his preposterous sweeping condemnation of a hundred and fifty million American citizens.
We at first thought that this would be a watershed moment in American political history: that it would be the final nail in the putrid coffin of the modern GOP. That the American voters would finally come to their collective senses and drive these Reptiles back under their fetid rocks, or into the rank caves from which they slithered. But on reflection, we demur.
We realized that we have never heard any politician admit to having made a mistake. We except Winston Churchill, of course, who admitted on several occasions he had been wrong: about the Dardanelles Campaign during WW1, about returning Britain to the gold standard after WW1, and about numerous decisions carried out, necessarily hastily, in the dark days of WW2.
No friends, no American politician of the modern GOP persuasion is capable of admitting they were wrong. And we think we know why. First, they are surrounded by lickspittles, flunkeys, 'consultants,' stooges, rentboys and sycophants whose sole job it is to flatter their boss, on whose largesse they depend for their filthy lucre. Secondly, they are supremely egotistical and narcissistic. And finally, half of the American people are a stultified group of overweight clods who don't look past the next BiG MAC@, TV episode, game console, or Bud@ Light. They are simply incapable of analytical thought.
So, while this episode might help cost Willard the election, he and his like will never learn. Only recall the exploits of George Felix Allen, Jr and his 'macaca' moment in 2006, and recall he is in a DEAD HEAT with Tim Kaine, a respectable middle-of-the-road Democrat, in Virginia.
But for us, Willard, Felix and their ilk are like Caliban; about whom Miranda said inThe Tempest, "He's a villain, sir, a villain, and one I do not like to look upon."

Ned's economics lesson

Ned would like to explain today's economy to his many freinds. We are all familiar with the dreary numbers: high unemployment, concentration of wealth in the hands of the Sneering Plutocracy and the Paris Hilton Crowd, GOP Mindless Midgets in charge of the House, and de facto the Senate. Obama has been unable to move the economy off dead center, mainly because of (1) timidity and (2) GOP knuckledragging, neither of which is likely to go away. But here's the simple explanation to the sluggish eonomy: CORPORATE PROFITS EQUAL 12% OF GDP. Now what's so bad about that? First, corporations are sitting on most of that cash and not investing it, or paying it "out" in dividends, or heaven forbid, paying their employees below the level of Sneering Plutocrats. Second, the money they do spend goes to salaries for Sneering Plutocrats, who can't possibly spend all of their filthy lucre, so it does not go back into the economy. Just recall Mitt Romney's offshore accounts. So, while the middle class stagnates, and the GOP plays its obscene game, the Plutocracy hoards cash like the Dragon of the Nibelung.
Ned hopes his friends have a very nice day.

Beating the HP Dead Horse

In the continuing saga of the contemptible incompetents running HP (into the ground) Ned has used his considerable math skills to add the total money (made public that is) that has been thrown at failed CEO's of that Corporate Poster Child in the past four years or so, by what business insiders call the "worst Board of Directors in the country."
Here is the disgraceful total, at a time when jobs are being outsourced to India and the rank and file employees have taken actual pay cuts.
$30 million or so to Carly Fiorina, plus her vewy own jet plane.
Something like 3 or 4 million to some interim CEO while they were looking for their next hack.
$12 million at least to Mark Hurd, who was forced to resign over expense account irregularities and some reports of vague sexual improprieties. Hurd went on to take the job of "Co President" at one of HP's competitors, Oracle.
$27 million to hapless Leo Apetheker, ousted after eleven months.
So, this is more than $70 million, at a time when qualified people can't find jobs.
And how have all these changes affected the company's stock price? Four years ago it was about 22. Same now.
Ned once again advises his friends to SHORT HP.

The HP Board Strikes Again!

Not content with its ranking among the worst corporate boards, according to experts (certainly not Ned), the board of floundering computer former-giant HP is reported ready to axe its CEO of 11 MONTHS, Leo Apotheker, in favor of a Charter Member of the Sneering Plutocracy, former eBay head Meg Whitman! Whitman's latest caper was to spend $160 million of her "own" money (read: money flayed from the backs of eBay employees and shareholders) in a run against wheezing geezer Jerry Brown for governor of California, a race in which she was soundly trounced. Ned can only imagine to what heights she may soar if elevated to the head of HP, but Ned advises his investor friends to continue to short the stock (free advice).

The Tyranny of College Loans

Ned was in conversation with friends recently, and he had cause to remark that this year for the first time, college loan debt exceeded credit card debt, and his blood ran cold at the thought. Here is state government, which is responsible for higher education, refusing to either (1) fund the cost of a college degree for its citizens, or (2) to guarantee a job for successful graduates, which would allow them to have some chance of paying off the onerous loans without bankrupting themselves. Instead we have a system that incorporates the worst of both worlds. Students incur tens of thousands in loans and then can't find a job afterwards, wasting many productive years, years which the 'locusts have eaten.'
Ned asks his friends to consider how much better we would be with, say, ten million more persons gainfully employed, at, say, the modest average salary of $35,000 a year, all paying into Medicare at the rate of 2% of salary, and into Social Security at 13%. We would be hearing no more about the crisis in Social Security for one thing. The multiplier effect would mean that local, state and federal governments would rake in much more tax revenue, and our citizenry would all have the satisfaction of leading productive lives. Then we could go after the Sneering Plutocracy and the Paris Hilton Crowd, and take a portion, say 70%, of their ill-gotten wealth they have flayed from the backs of honest persons throughout the Western World.
But of course, Ned awoke to find, as usual, he was living a fairy tale.

Poor Meg Whitman

News reports now confirm that charter member Sneering Plutocrat and ex-"CEO" of eBay Meg Whitman spent $180 million of her "own" money (read, money flayed from the backs of eBay users, shareholders and employees) in a "vain" attempt to be elected Governor of Gullyvornia. In fact, she was trounced by flower child geezer Jerry Brown by 13 points in a landslide. Ned's friends know that he scornfully derides the idea held by Republicans and their lickspittles and rentboys that sneering plutocrats should be allowed to amass ever increasing amounts of filthy lucre, and should be free to do with it as they wish, while the rest of us presumably slink to the back door of the compound and beg a few crumbs that the cat wouldn't eat. Let the debate recommence!
But do not shed any tears for Meg: she has recently been appointed by her co-sneering plutocrats to the HP Board of Directors, where she can pile up more millions by showing up and rubber-stamping HP management in much the same way that the Supreme Soviet "debated and then approved suggestions made by Comrade Stalin."

HP worst corporate board-the sequel!

Ned's friends recall that one of our most successful offerings was a post done in September entitled "HP Worst Corporate Board." Now the troubled company is back in the news after announcing a "reorganization" of its Board of Directors, composed naturally entirely of members of the Sneering Plutocracy. Four board members have been removed, er, "have decided not to seek re-appointment" apparently arising out of the debacle related to the departure of one of the titans of the Sneering Plutocracy, Mark Hurd. Ned will only point his readers to his earlier post to describe the outrage that resulted from the board's award of at least $12 million IN CASH to Hurd after finding 'irregularities" in his expenses. It will probably astound Ned's readers to learn that Hurd denied any impropriety.
Now the company has added four new board members, all members of the Sneering Plutocracy in good standing. Two perhaps stand out: Patricia Russo who, as chairperson of the telecom giant Alcatel-Lucent, presided over a 60% loss of share value in what can only be described as a disastrous tenure. Ned's friends need not send Russo sympathy cards, however, for she received an obscenely large golden parachute. The second worthy is Plutocrat Meg Whitman, former chair of eBay who wasted more than $150 million of her "own" money, read money flayed from the backs of employees and shareholders, in a disastrous run on the Republican ticket for governor of California, where she was trounced by Jerry Brown.
So these worthies now will dictate policy for HP. Ned advises shareholders to prepare for yet anther bath.

A Surprise From The Pharmaceutical World!

Comes word that a small drug company has stopped trials of resveratrol, the "miracle" antioxidant concentrated in red wine, providing a few lame excuses, but one kernel of wisdom. Here's the quote from today's NYT: "Resveratrol has several features that make it unsuitable as a drug. These include the fact that it is hard to maintain a consistent level of resveratrol in the bloodstream and that it seems to have different effects at different doses."

Now, Ned asks his friends how many substances have "different effects at different doses." And, even though this company finds it difficult to maintain a "constant level' in the blood, the aspirin and ibuprofen makers don't seem to have that problem, nor do those who market timed-release Vitamin C.
No, the cynic in Ned prefers to accept the last excuse: "From a commercial point of view, resveratrol is a natural substance and not patentable." So they can't make enough money on it to pay their Sneering Plutocrat CEO tens of millions of dollars a year while gouging Medicare.

Another sneering victory

Ned bitterly regrets to report of yet another victory by the Sneering Plutocracy in their never-ending battle to divide Americans and pit worker against worker, aided and abetted of course by their lickspittle rentboys of the Republican Party. Ned refers to the newly-elected state legislator in South Carolina, who shall remain nameless, who, upon his election by the benighted know-nothings of that state, announced with puffed chest that he was going to "start investigating" the faculty at state colleges and universities, presumably to ensure that they were earning their bread and not filling the heads of their charges with an excessive amount of liberal propaganda and outright lies. Ned's problem is this:
Behind all such morons are the minions and tools of the Sneering Plutocracy which knows that the only way it can remain transcendent in this pathetic society, raking in its filthy lucre in the form of tax cuts, bonuses, obscene salaries and power, is to pit worker against worker. Ned has seen the effectiveness of this himself in the constant carping on the part of the largely ignorant masses about the salaries and benefits, such as they are, paid to government workers. Ned has even been caught up on the maelstrom himself from time to time, before waking as if from an opiate dream.
College and university teachers have been the subject of envy and malice from the room-temperature IQ set from time immemorial, whence the battles between 'town and gown' in the English Middle Ages, even described in passing in Henry IV Part II as Justice Shallow reminisces about his boyhood.
As long as the ignorant, drooling masses direct their bile against the only class that stands between them and serfdom, namely the intelligentsia, they will be in danger of sinking further into the abyss of sloth and imbecility. Worse, their children will be condemned to that same fate.

Balancing the Budget

Ned encourages his many friends and sycophants to go to www.nytimes.com and take the 'budget balancing quiz' in the Outlook Section. Ned took it and found it to have been ridiculously easy to cut $500 billion and add $800 billion in revenue, without harming anyone but the plutocracy and the warmongers, and this without even slashing those sacred cows that Ned would love to eviscerate, namely war (please don't call it defense) spending. Certainly it involves some new taxes, mainly trivial ones on the sneering plutocracy, but Ned reminds his followers that these same sneering plutocrats have had their taxes slashed since 1960, over and over again. And shed no tears for the rich who die and leave their fortunes to their heirs. Ned's choice still exempts the first $1 million of assets.
Given how easy it is to bring the federal budget into balance, Ned predicts that if Obama caves in to the sneering, crumb-throwing plutocracy and extends their tax cuts for even one moment, there will be a tsunami of outrage that will make the Tea Party protests look like Norman Rockwell Thanksgivings.
Finally, let us never forget that the top 1% of "earners" take home 23% of all the salary in this benighted country, and the average faceless functionary and working class stiff has actually seen their income fall over the past 20 years.

GM'S SUCCESS, PLUTOCRATS, AND HYBRIDS

Ned had occasion to drive (yes, he occasionally drives, and let his enemies make the most of it) to his health club and back yesterday due to an imminent delivery. His route took him up Arrowwood Drive. As he turned onto Arrowwood, he noted a Prius passing him. Then to his surprise and delight, that Prius in turn was passed by another Prius going the other way. Now, this is no longer an unusual occurrence in as progressive a place as Oregon, although residents of benighted places like Mississippi and Tennessee (outside Nashville of course) would find much to marvel at. No friends, what set Ned to musing was the fact that (1) Toyota has sold upwards of TWO MILLION PRIUSES in the US alone since 2000, and (2) the GM CEO in 2000 said 'nobody wants hybrids in this country, they all want SUVs and trucks, and we intend to give Americans what they want.' "Fast-forward" to 2009 and GM is bankrupt, due to the sneering arrogant idiots who ran the company (into the ground, of course) and the UAW which clawed and scratched for every dime of filthy lucre it could get.
Now, of course, Toyota remains one of the most profitable companies in the world and makes lots of money on each Prius, while GM is a ward of the state, having been bailed out by taxpayers to the tune of several tens of billions of (borrowed) money.
Once again we see the sneering plutocrat class land on its feet while its cringing, sniveling, lickspittle enablers in the Republican Party press for ever more tax cuts for the same sneering elites that ran Lehman, GM, Chrysler, Citi, Wachovia and a hundred other companies into the ground and walked away with millions in golden parachutes, like Halfbright Fellow Carly Fiorina with her private jet from the slobbering complaisant fools on the Board of Directors at HP.
And the "Tea Party" voters are set to crawl out from under their rocks and give the plutocrats and Republicans even more, at the expense of the few sane people left in this place.
Is this a great country or what?