Ned's local Starbucks proudly announced they were giving away cups of coffee on Earth Day to everyone who brought in their own cup. Ned was there for a bit, and at times the line snaked back nearly to the door. It moved rapidly, however, because the free offer was only good for coffee or tea and not for any of the frou-frou drinks that our younger friends and members of the female persuasion seem to favor. Most everyone had their own cup.
Ned was back today for his first visit since Earth Day and his friends will be gratified to learn that the American Dream has been re-ratified: almost no-one brought in their own cup and the frou-frou drinks flowed like water.
So much for sensitizing our fellow countrypersons to the needs of the global environment.
Ned Pepper's Outrages
Showing posts with label Starbucks. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Starbucks. Show all posts
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
Thursday, March 10, 2011
A Few Annoyances
Ned has had the usual and customary interactions with narcissists, idiots and incompetents today, and so he is ready to reprise some of his irritants du jour.
First, when did women begin to say "think you" for "thank you?" Ned rejects the idea that this is some sort of evolution of the language as we saw in the years after the publication of the Shakespeare folios, and he suspects it somehow has to do with twitter, facebook, or some juvenile pre-pubescent entertainer, although since he is unfamiliar with either of the former and indignantly refuses to take any interest in the latter, he can only express his suspicions at this juncture.
Next, while Ned considers himself a capitalist out of necessity, given that the Sneering Plutocrats and their lickspittles and rentboys among the political and financial class have structured investments so that the average grunt has to invest in stocks rather than treasuries or money market accounts, he would like to suggest to his friends that they stop mindlessly ordering a "grande" at Starbucks, and consider something smaller; to wit, a "tall" which is 12 ounces for Christ's sake, or even a "short" which is only short by comparison, amounting to "fully" 8 ounces. Ordering a 'grande' ensures that the purchaser ingests far too many calories in fat and sugar, because Ned has observed that few persons order simply a coffee. Therefore, while Ned, as a Starbucks shareholder, appreciates the revenue provided by his friends at his local shop and the thousands around the world, he encourages his friends to save some money and some calories, and order smaller sizes.
Finally, Ned has observed the usual and customary practice on the part of "landscape maintenance" employees to wait for the rainiest possible day to mow lawns and blow water and mud along sidewalks and streets using gas-powered leaf blowers. One would have thought that, in a time of $3.50 gas, these idiots would know better than to blow puddles of water around, but then he has never had much faith in the products of our institutions of secondary and higher education.
Ned hopes his many friends will proceed to have the customary nice day.
First, when did women begin to say "think you" for "thank you?" Ned rejects the idea that this is some sort of evolution of the language as we saw in the years after the publication of the Shakespeare folios, and he suspects it somehow has to do with twitter, facebook, or some juvenile pre-pubescent entertainer, although since he is unfamiliar with either of the former and indignantly refuses to take any interest in the latter, he can only express his suspicions at this juncture.
Next, while Ned considers himself a capitalist out of necessity, given that the Sneering Plutocrats and their lickspittles and rentboys among the political and financial class have structured investments so that the average grunt has to invest in stocks rather than treasuries or money market accounts, he would like to suggest to his friends that they stop mindlessly ordering a "grande" at Starbucks, and consider something smaller; to wit, a "tall" which is 12 ounces for Christ's sake, or even a "short" which is only short by comparison, amounting to "fully" 8 ounces. Ordering a 'grande' ensures that the purchaser ingests far too many calories in fat and sugar, because Ned has observed that few persons order simply a coffee. Therefore, while Ned, as a Starbucks shareholder, appreciates the revenue provided by his friends at his local shop and the thousands around the world, he encourages his friends to save some money and some calories, and order smaller sizes.
Finally, Ned has observed the usual and customary practice on the part of "landscape maintenance" employees to wait for the rainiest possible day to mow lawns and blow water and mud along sidewalks and streets using gas-powered leaf blowers. One would have thought that, in a time of $3.50 gas, these idiots would know better than to blow puddles of water around, but then he has never had much faith in the products of our institutions of secondary and higher education.
Ned hopes his many friends will proceed to have the customary nice day.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)