Newt, Inc

One of Ned's loyal moles, burrowed deep into the education-industrial complex of the DC area, has sent Ned an incendiary portrayal, done of all things by the WashPost, of the history of that consummate insider, ultimate narcissist, and "born again" sinner, erstwhile National Blowhard Newt Gingrich. It is simply too flabbergasting a story for Ned to try to summarize it. So Ned will simply advise his many friends and loyal followers to go to http://www.washingtonpost.com/politics/newt-gingrich-and-how-he-got-rich/2011/11/21/gIQAftOglN_print.html, and read the description of how someone who was kicked out of the job of Speaker of the House by his own party could now be mentioned by the political talking heads as a serious (we mean that, by the way) candidate for president.

Unimaginable, unimaginable arrogance

Ned is going to list a series of examples of what he considers to be arrogance and narcissistic behavior so beyond the pale as to be unimaginable. Ned is beginning to wade in a sea of befuddlement as pertains to many of his fellow sentient beings.

* How could someone in the public eye like Arnold Schwarzenegger FATHER A CHILD by one of his household "staff," and his wife NOT BE AWARE of it? How could this man be elected governor of the most populous state in the United States, with an economy BY ITSELF the ninth largest in the world, and this egregious business not even come up until this man has left office?
* How could Dominique Strauss-Kahn, head of the IMF and the most popular Socialist in France, attack a HOTEL MAID in BROAD DAYLIGHT and expect to get away with it? Apparently this man had made a habit of this kind of behavior over the years, but no one has seen fit to call him on it.
* How could a man like Newt Gingrich expect to be taken seriously on social and economic policy, besides on "family values", when he has had multiple affairs with female staffers, married apparently two of them after dumping the former wife, and by undergoing a "conversion to Catholicism" expect all his crimes and misdemeanors to be "washed away in the blood of the lamb" so to speak? What does this say about the moral bankruptcy of a political faction that would take him seriously as a presidential candidate?
* In each of the above cases, how can reasonably intelligent women marry such a man, and attempt to keep any shred of self-respect?
* How could a creature like John Ensign be elected Senator from Nevada given his background and the fact that he was given everything he had by his daddy and mummy, and then go on to have an affair with a married "staffer" with the FULL KNOWLEDGE of her husband, and then try to get his daddy to pay the guy $90k or more in hush money, and expect to get away with it?
*How can a charlatan like Donald Trump, who was given everything he had by his rich daddy, and who epitomizes the principle made famous by Keynes; to wit, if you owe your banker a thousand pounds he owns you, but if you owe him a million pounds you own him, be taken seriously be Republicans as a presidential candidate, or by Americans as an example of a successful businessman?

What in the hell is this place coming to?

Narcissist of the Year?

Ned feels strongly that there are simply too few honors to bestow on the host of truly eligible politicians and political wannabes. Therefore, in view of the unprecedented reports of colossal narcissistic behavior that assault us daily, Ned, Prof Dr Q A Wagstaff OBE FRS, together with the anonymous Nominating Committee are moved to announce the creation of an Honorary Title of Narcissist of the Year.
From time to time the Committee will nominate candidates, but the final election will be held later in the year. The Committee wish to begin the process by offering its first three nominations: Donald Trump, Newt Gingrich and Sarah Palin.
Trump's every utterance oozes narcissism of the highest order, but his most recent behavior, in which he joins the 'birthers,' and goes on to declare his candidacy for the Republican nomination, asserting he could easily beat Obama, makes his a true Narcissist.
Gingrich's nomination would be as much a Lifetime Award as a contemporary honor, but his most recent declarations concerning 'family values' arising out of his 'conversion to Catholicism,' coupled with his preposterous criticism of Obama's Libyan policy, make him a strong candidate.
Palin, an immodest person with much to be modest about, leads the field at this point. The very fact that she thinks anyone would be interested in the mindless drivel that constitutes her every public utterance shows her to be a Narcissist of the very first order.


Ned and the Committee welcome nominations from our friends.

New Halfbright AND Contempt Citation

Prof Dr Q A Wagstaff, OBE, FRS, and the nominating committee, which prefer to remain anonymous due to threats from unsuccessful candidates, announces an unprecedented Halfbright Fellowship AND Contempt Citation to the same deserving individual. The Halfbright is for Lifetime Achievement in the category of National Blowhard and Supreme Narcissist. The award goes to former congressperson, failed House Speaker, and self-styled Republican Intellectual Newt Gingrich.
Gingrich showed his mettle by being one of the few House Speakers to be thrown out by his own caucus. But personal qualities come to bear as well. Gingrich has been by all reports a Serial Adulterer, but after his "conversion" to Catholicism now fancies himself a Spokesperson for 'Family Values.' He managed the extremely challenging task of being elected several times to a lily-white suburban Atlanta district where moderates are viewed slightly less favorably than the Antichrist.
He personally engineered the government shutdown of early 2006 which summarily pissed off thousands of DC tourists, many of them Republicans, and soured the entire country on the nitwits in the Republican Party. Given that he is apparently a serious candidate for the Republican presidential nomination in 2012, and has about as much chance as Ned of getting nominated and even less of being elected, it seems the party has not progressed much since then.
But, be that as it may. Gingrich is a superior candidate for a Halfbright, and the Committee feel he is one of its strongest Fellows to date.
The Contempt Citation is for the documented "flip flops" Gingrich has uttered on the Libyan military intervention, first in favor of it, and then when Obama obliged him, came out against it. All of these positions were documented on film and he had the temerity to deny he had ever done so, showing him to be one of the most accomplished Narcissists in politics today.
The Committee congratulates Dr Gingrich (yes, he actually has a PhD in something from someplace called Georgia State, Ned believes) for a distinguished career and for his well-deserved Contempt Citation.
UPDATE: Ned remind his friends that Gingrich has also been named to the coveted post of National Blowhard, succeeding William Bennett, and had a starring role in the Great Saga of the Dwarf Lords, chronicled by Ned previously.

The National Blowhard Returns

Now comes word that failed House Speaker, self-proclaimed intellectual and all-around National Blowhard Newt (Family Values) Gingrich is once again "considering" a run for the presidency in 2012.
Clearly, perhaps sensing a 1992 moment, when most Dems declined to get into the race early thinking that Poppy Bush was unbeatable, the Republican sharks are circling sensing Obama's blood in the water for 2012. The interesting and amusing thing will be to watch the collection of Republican Empty Suits, Blowhards, Evangelists and Mental Midgets try to stake out distinctive positions. Palin, O'Donnell, Miller and the like have shown for all the world to see that those positions do not have to contain a shred of intellectual content, just Ad-Speak. Uncle Joe and Dr Goebbels would be proud. Ned, however, hangs his head in shame at the debacle that has become the Obama presidency.