We would like to apologize to our many dear friends for our posting hiatus, as we have been on a research expedition deep into the foul heart of Red America. Our journey took us across the forbidding wastes of eastern Oregon, home to a few thousands of Hardy Rugged Individualists who hate government but live off federal timber payments, subsidized water, crop payments and food stamps. We crossed into that reddest of states, Idaho, filled with cultist Mormons and more Rugged Real Americans, then deeper, deeper into the most forlorn of all red states, Wyoming. We counted about three trees between Evanston and Laramie, but plenty of signs of coal mining. We now understand the cowboy lament that, while rounding up 'dogies,' poor, motherless calves, sings "whoopie tie-yie-ay, git along little dogie, it's your misfortune and none of my own, whoopie tie-yie-ay git along little dogie, you know that Wyoming will be your new home." And God help the poor beasts.
Our journey ended in Purple Colorado, where we saw plenty of Romney yard signs in the Stepford Wife-like metropolis of Fort Collins. We can, however, report that the town has a abundance of fine brewpubs and Colorado State University. We predict however, that Romney will carry the town by a whisker, but trust that our tortilla-fancying friends in the Denver region will deliver the state the Obama. Time will tell.
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