Cowboy boots on a chicken

Up until the past few years, Ned had been in the habit of doing his own taxes. Then, some colossal mistakes on his part, his self-employed status coupled with the bewildering complexity of the rules for charging for office space and what-have-you, made him seek 'out' the services of a professional tax-preparer. The first one he hired sent him a completely un-itemized bill for $385. When Ned called his office, he was told that 'Michael is at the top of his field and he doesn't bother with itemizing his services' (Ned is not making this up). Ned politely enquired if the boss would quietly accept and pay an un-itemized bill for $385 from his local car-repair guys, and he was told that was irrelevant. Now, this is then same guy who missed one of Ned's most obvious deductions, that of income from a muni bond fund from bonds in one's home state. Ned negotiated a reduced charge.
Ned selected a new preparer based on several recommendations from friends. All went well until last year, when Ned was told that he overpaid his taxes by about $4000! Ned's friends can imagine his glee, and his feeling that it was un-necessary to actually read the return, so he just signed "off on" it. Ned also was told that he had no need to pay quarterly taxes for 2010, since he could just apply his return to that. What bliss!
When Ned's 2010 return was ready a couple of months ago, Ned was informed that he owed $8000! Upon actually finally reading his 2009 return, he found that his preparer had failed to include a substantial sum of dividends and interest from Ned's USAA account, that Ned had clearly and plainly itemized on a separate sheet of paper.
Now, Ned's friends can appreciate his dilemma: not only was he liable for extra taxes for 2009, plus penalties and interest, but he had to pay several thousands of dollars extra for 2010, even after finding yet another massive error (in his favor for a change!) on his 2010 return!
Ned's quandary is this: he feels he is not qualified to do his own taxes, but doesn't seem to be able to find anyone who is. Ned spent his entire professional life being both responsible and accountable for everything he did. In the "real world" apparently, that situation is as rare as cowboy boots on a chicken.