Delta Sky Clubs Evaluated!

Ned promised his many friends that he would provide them with their EXCLUSIVE rating of Delta Sky Clubs, and here it is.
First, all sky clubs are not alike! For example, US Air charges for drinks so what's the point of paying to join you ask? Ned has no answer.

Here are the attributes of several of the Sky Clubs:
Portland: Nice crunchy atmosphere as one would expect from the Pacific NW. No spirits but decent beer and wine and the standard fare of crudites, hummous, nuts, cheese, cookies (avoid) various crackers (avoid) and decent coffee. Ned's friends may recall this is where he had the Curious Adventure with his little Eritrean friend who spoke virtually no English, resulting in a mixture of cabernet and pinot noir that had a certain splintery charm. Good newspaper selection. Grade A.

Seattle: A little more cosmopolitan than PDX and spirits are available, as are beer and wine. The usual foods and apples--a decided plus. The bar person understood English--a definite plus and offered Ned a double with his first approach--a definite minus. Grade A-.

Philadelphia: Recently re-opened. A curious sign asks patrons to "limit yourself to one drink" but there is no obvious enforcement as it is a self-serve bar. No decent mixers, however-- a definite minus. Typical foods but no decent nuts--a minus. Grade C+.

Cincinnati: A good sky club with an excellent cup of coffee as well as good choice of beers and spirits. Not self serve. The wine was a bit iffy. The food was as usual except the nuts had a curious and distasteful dusting of what appeared to be salt and spice, which Ned attempted to brush off, providing some amusement to those seated nearby. Ned spent a lot of time here and the newspaper selection was a bit limited. Grade B+.

Minneapolis: A bit down at heel but a decent selection of self serve spirits and beer and wine. The usual foods along with apples. Ned did not evaluate the newspaper selection as he was in a bit of a hurry. Grade A-.

Atlanta: There are several clubs at this vast airport and Ned checked out two. Both were very crowded and hectic, and seemed cramped, but then spirits flowed like water and there seemed to be quite a few Sneering Plutocrats in attendance. The usual foods and a good selection of papers. Grade B+.

Salt Lake City: Ned's favorite Sky Club, perhaps because that is where he joined and that is where he spends a lot of time between flights. Good food, and friendly bar staff, although they do try to limit patrons to "three drinks per hour" which does not cramp Ned's style at all, but alcoholics should take note. The two 'greeters' at the front desk told Ned their job was, in part, to 'keep the riff raff out.' Grade A.