Ned's 'Take' on Global Governance

Ned's many friends know that he has a fondness for The Economist, considering it to be the only news magazine worth reading. He has, based on his careful attention to articles in The Economist over the past nearly one year, formulated a hypothesis on the state of global governance. It bodes ill for the future of 'democracy.' We believe that most countries are governed either by despots, religious fanatics, or corrupt forms of representative government. Given that there are more than 170 political entities on the planet, it is far easier to list those countries that Ned accepts as having reasonably competent, responsible governments. They are: Canada, Australia, a few countries in Western Europe, and perhaps Uruguay. The U.S. does not make the grade, since it is governed alternatively by sniveling Democrats or fanatical, hyper-religious sanctimonious hypocrites calling themselves Republicans.
Just consider some of the political entities on this planet: Mexico is corrupt and drug-ridden. Eastern Europe and Russia are corrupt and authoritarian. China is barely governable. Japan has been shown to be corrupt and incompetent. India's government is a corrupt laughing stock. Pakistan is nearly a Failed State, sinking into anarchy, but possessing nuclear weapons. Iraq is a preposterous creation of Western Imperialism. Israel is a religious autarky. Afghanistan is a society firmly wedded to the 7th century AD. The Middle East is clan-ridden and fatally corrupted by religion. If Greece were a business it would have been bankrupt by now. Lebanon would be fine if Syria and Hezbollah would leave it alone. Africa is a write-off, too busy destroying its environment and each other to be taken seriously. Many other countries are simply lines on a map, and are busily trying to subdue ethnic minorities fighting for their own state, like Thailand, Turkey and Sri Lanka.
Whom does that leave? Luxembourg. And it is ruled by a Grand Duke.

Privatizing public space

Ned's many friends know that one of his main irritants is narcissistic, self-centered people who try to convert public spaces like restaurants, parks, coffee shops and stores into their own personal space. He has written irate posts excoriating dog owners who let their mangy curs run wild in public parks, terrorizing children and geezers, all the while laughing and uttering such banalities as 'he's really friendly!'
Today Ned, after a rather challenging night, was having a cup of decent coffee at his local Market of Choice, together with a bran muffin (the bran muffin was his breakfast, not his companion), reading the NYT and minding his business, and trying to ignore a Millennial sitting at the next table who had a classic case of Oral Diarrhea. But this is not Ned's subject, since that occurrence is so commonplace as to be no longer worthy of mention. No, Ned takes to task today a mother ('mom') and a friend who were in nominal charge of a noisy infant. The friend would pick up the small creature and make it squeal. After about ten minutes of this irritating behavior, she put the thing down and it commenced running around the area, periodically screaming, at which both presumed parent and 'freind' derived much merriment.  Ned and many of those surrounding him were somewhat less amused, but, given the state of self-centeredness abounding today, he was not surprised. Ned thought of asking the woman if she was in the mistaken delusion of being in her own living room, but satisfied himself with wishing her in Hell, and turned his attention back to Paul Krugman.

Our Daily News Report

Like a beached whale, Ned has been inactive of late, content to breathe laboriously and await rescue. However, two news items raise us to a form of activity. First, we note with scorn that the imbecile who is running the state of Florida has demanded that all state employees be subject to "random" drug tests. Ned likens this idiotic idea to one in which a dictator in a Banana Republic (which this country resembles more each day) demands that every citizen be subject to "random" raids by storm trooper Deputy Dawgs in what was the privacy of their own homes. Or, drivers be subject to random stops and beatings as part of the price of operating a motor vehicle. We note that at least for now the courts have struck down this infamous proposal
Next, we note with infinite contempt that our erstwhile Narcissist Of The Year, none other than Newt Gingrich, has signaled that he "might" end his preposterous "candidacy" for the GOP presidential nomination, for which he has absolutely no hope. The thing we find contemptible is that a "fiscal conservative" like this cretin is costing the US taxpayer $40 k a day in Secret Service protection as he goes about playing statesman.
You can't make this stuff up, as Louie Mayer once observed.

The US Navy--Bless Their Hearts

Two delicious pieces of news today concern our Navy. Comes word that one of their "most essential" new ships, the so-called "LIttoral Combat Ship" is, you guessed it, coming in far over budget ($700 million each) and cannot perform the tasks for which it was supposedly designed. For example, it can't float very well with a crack in its hull, and it can't tell a mine from sunlight. And Ned regrets to say that this debacle is only partially attributable to the Criminal Bush Regime since Obama has likewise championed the ship. Ned points out that for $700 million we could award $7000 college scholarships to 100,000 students.
But not to be outdone, a carrier that the Navy "must have" to "defend freedom" is now expected to cost $6.1 billion versus an earlier estimate of an already obscene $5.2 billion. Each.
Another exercise: how many $10,000 college scholarships could we award for one of these useless behemoths? The first correct answer will receive a Popeye comic book and a can of spinach.

The ultimate welfare queen

The news today brings word of a true 'welfare queen' in the iconic sense a la Reagan. Ned wonders if his many friends recall a certain 'Ms Suleyman', a woman without gainful employment who nonetheless had ova implanted in her uterus, or some relevant ladypart. She was as a result blessed with eight offspring, and thus earned the sobriquet 'octomom.'It turns out that she is now, and has been for a while, on Food Stamp benefit in California. Ned suspects that this person is some sort of bogus 'refugee' or even on 'disability', perhaps as a result of one or more of the Iraq wars, instigated by one of the criminal Bush regimes.
If Ned had his way, he would see to it that the Guardia Civil made a call on this personage and put her into protective custody until she could stand trial for antisocial behavior, which in Ned's world would be an egregious felony. If convicted, she would be imprisoned, and at the end of her long sentence, deported. The eight clones, or whatever they are, would be put up for adoption, but so as not to prejudice the innocent children their sad history would be kept secret.
By the way, the aforementioned individual says she is "ashamed" to have been found out to be on welfare.

Our xenophobic side

Perhaps Ned's friends will allow him to exhibit a bit of his xenophobic side for a brief, shining moment. We wonder, with the greatest respect, what is wrong with so many of our "Korean American" associates? First we hear of their adherence to the "Rev" Moon's "church," which for pure unadulterated silliness makes the Mormons look like a collection of St Thomas Aquinas knockoffs. Then we turn to a darker side: the killer of more than 30 innocent people at Virginia Tech--remember that?-- was carried out by a, you guessed it, Korean American, with a "troubled history." Now we find yet another maniac has been able to legally obtain a semi-autmatic sidearm and, claiming to be "really mad" at his fellow students because they mocked his poor English, he set out to kill as many as he could. He, too, is described in press reports as "having a troubled history."
We once again pine for the days of the Guardia Civil in Spain, when persons with a "troubled history,"of an antisocial bent, upon having been been clearly and repeatedly exhibited, simply disappeared into confinement before they could kill or maim any of their fellows. How many of our innocent friends, acquaintances and relatives, dead now through the actions of sociopaths with a repeated history of such behavior, would be alive today? We of course can never know. Barring a revival of the Guardia Civil, we would be happy if every handgun in the country were to be confiscated, and their lunatic owners, if complaining, could be sent to the middle of the Utah desert, to be surrounded by their fellow psychopaths.
But of course we value "freedom" far too much for such a sane outcome.
We wish our surviving friends a very good day.

Gone Mad

Ned wonders if we as a 'society' have finally gone completely mad. The latest outrage concerns a certain "determined gentleman" in the words of the Oakland Chief Deputy Dawg (we are not making this up) who cold-bloddedly murdered seven innocent people at an Oakland CA religiousist 'college' with of course a handgun, because, apparently, he felt 'disrespected' by the administration and some of his fellow students.
We fervently hope that, one day, and may it come sooner rather than later, all the handgun lunatics will, like lemmings, hysterically clump together and run screaming into the sea, where they will be eaten by sharks. Then perhaps we can get back to civilized living.