Our Daily News Report

Like a beached whale, Ned has been inactive of late, content to breathe laboriously and await rescue. However, two news items raise us to a form of activity. First, we note with scorn that the imbecile who is running the state of Florida has demanded that all state employees be subject to "random" drug tests. Ned likens this idiotic idea to one in which a dictator in a Banana Republic (which this country resembles more each day) demands that every citizen be subject to "random" raids by storm trooper Deputy Dawgs in what was the privacy of their own homes. Or, drivers be subject to random stops and beatings as part of the price of operating a motor vehicle. We note that at least for now the courts have struck down this infamous proposal
Next, we note with infinite contempt that our erstwhile Narcissist Of The Year, none other than Newt Gingrich, has signaled that he "might" end his preposterous "candidacy" for the GOP presidential nomination, for which he has absolutely no hope. The thing we find contemptible is that a "fiscal conservative" like this cretin is costing the US taxpayer $40 k a day in Secret Service protection as he goes about playing statesman.
You can't make this stuff up, as Louie Mayer once observed.

The US Navy--Bless Their Hearts

Two delicious pieces of news today concern our Navy. Comes word that one of their "most essential" new ships, the so-called "LIttoral Combat Ship" is, you guessed it, coming in far over budget ($700 million each) and cannot perform the tasks for which it was supposedly designed. For example, it can't float very well with a crack in its hull, and it can't tell a mine from sunlight. And Ned regrets to say that this debacle is only partially attributable to the Criminal Bush Regime since Obama has likewise championed the ship. Ned points out that for $700 million we could award $7000 college scholarships to 100,000 students.
But not to be outdone, a carrier that the Navy "must have" to "defend freedom" is now expected to cost $6.1 billion versus an earlier estimate of an already obscene $5.2 billion. Each.
Another exercise: how many $10,000 college scholarships could we award for one of these useless behemoths? The first correct answer will receive a Popeye comic book and a can of spinach.

The ultimate welfare queen

The news today brings word of a true 'welfare queen' in the iconic sense a la Reagan. Ned wonders if his many friends recall a certain 'Ms Suleyman', a woman without gainful employment who nonetheless had ova implanted in her uterus, or some relevant ladypart. She was as a result blessed with eight offspring, and thus earned the sobriquet 'octomom.'It turns out that she is now, and has been for a while, on Food Stamp benefit in California. Ned suspects that this person is some sort of bogus 'refugee' or even on 'disability', perhaps as a result of one or more of the Iraq wars, instigated by one of the criminal Bush regimes.
If Ned had his way, he would see to it that the Guardia Civil made a call on this personage and put her into protective custody until she could stand trial for antisocial behavior, which in Ned's world would be an egregious felony. If convicted, she would be imprisoned, and at the end of her long sentence, deported. The eight clones, or whatever they are, would be put up for adoption, but so as not to prejudice the innocent children their sad history would be kept secret.
By the way, the aforementioned individual says she is "ashamed" to have been found out to be on welfare.

Our xenophobic side

Perhaps Ned's friends will allow him to exhibit a bit of his xenophobic side for a brief, shining moment. We wonder, with the greatest respect, what is wrong with so many of our "Korean American" associates? First we hear of their adherence to the "Rev" Moon's "church," which for pure unadulterated silliness makes the Mormons look like a collection of St Thomas Aquinas knockoffs. Then we turn to a darker side: the killer of more than 30 innocent people at Virginia Tech--remember that?-- was carried out by a, you guessed it, Korean American, with a "troubled history." Now we find yet another maniac has been able to legally obtain a semi-autmatic sidearm and, claiming to be "really mad" at his fellow students because they mocked his poor English, he set out to kill as many as he could. He, too, is described in press reports as "having a troubled history."
We once again pine for the days of the Guardia Civil in Spain, when persons with a "troubled history,"of an antisocial bent, upon having been been clearly and repeatedly exhibited, simply disappeared into confinement before they could kill or maim any of their fellows. How many of our innocent friends, acquaintances and relatives, dead now through the actions of sociopaths with a repeated history of such behavior, would be alive today? We of course can never know. Barring a revival of the Guardia Civil, we would be happy if every handgun in the country were to be confiscated, and their lunatic owners, if complaining, could be sent to the middle of the Utah desert, to be surrounded by their fellow psychopaths.
But of course we value "freedom" far too much for such a sane outcome.
We wish our surviving friends a very good day.

Gone Mad

Ned wonders if we as a 'society' have finally gone completely mad. The latest outrage concerns a certain "determined gentleman" in the words of the Oakland Chief Deputy Dawg (we are not making this up) who cold-bloddedly murdered seven innocent people at an Oakland CA religiousist 'college' with of course a handgun, because, apparently, he felt 'disrespected' by the administration and some of his fellow students.
We fervently hope that, one day, and may it come sooner rather than later, all the handgun lunatics will, like lemmings, hysterically clump together and run screaming into the sea, where they will be eaten by sharks. Then perhaps we can get back to civilized living.